Something that I’m contemplating lately is that things that exist will always “show up” having two sides. Tolerance only exists because there is intolerance. Good and bad, light and dark, right and wrong—they exist only in reference to each other. Because without the matching other, the thing wouldn’t exist at all.

Because perhaps it’s all made up and there’s nothing there.

According to physics we are a bunch of waves/light that our brain interprets as shapes and forms. We make it out as something and in that our perception is very convincing, and at the same time there’s really nothing there except a boundless blubbering emptiness.

What is seen as “matter” is shapeless light in negative space.

As long as we keep this lens of duality, of separateness, this is what we will feel like too. Both on the microscopic scale and on the macro scale.

We will feel separate from the earth beneath our feet—even though we are made of it. There’s gazillions of bacteria that we take up with each step. So many microbes and fungi we breathe in when we walk through the forest. We are part of it.

We will feel separate from humanity at large—even though we are humanity.

We are all human.
We are all nature.
We are all part of life.

The perspective of separation is convenient because it allows us to not be a part of harm done to ourselves aka “nature”, “humanity”. It is a free pass to throw compassion out the window for that which we see as “not us”, when actually “everything is us”

What implications would it have were we to regard everything as one?

If everything were regarded as one, responsibility would stop being optional. Harm done elsewhere would no longer feel distant or abstract, because there would be no “elsewhere.” To damage the earth would be to damage one’s own body. To exploit another person would be to exploit oneself. Ethics would stop being rule-based and become relational, focusing us on the moment, on the situation we are in, not whether we are doing it right or wrong.

Compassion would no longer be something extended selectively. It would arise naturally, as self-recognition. Indifference would become harder to justify, because neglect would no longer feel neutral—care for the self and care for the whole would no longer be opposites.

Identity, too, would loosen. The rigid borders that define “me” would soften, allowing a person to act without the constant defence of ego. Fear—so often rooted in separation—would lose some of its grip. Competition would feel less convincing (because we make it up!). Cooperation would feel less idealistic and more practical.

The paradigm would shift from “How do I protect myself?” towards “How can we help each other?”

The Other Side

At the same time, this perspective would carry weight. Seeing everything as one removes the comfort of moral distance. There would be no one else to blame, no external system to point at without implication. Action and inaction would both matter. Awareness would demand participation.

Seeing the world how it is now from this perspective would provoke an upheaval and collective grieving. We would have to experience the pain, exploitation, and oppression that is currently happening without the distant abstraction of it being news and entertainment.

The systems that rely on separation—economic, political, even psychological—depend on our ability to compartmentalize suffering. To dissolve that compartmentalization would expose a backlog of unprocessed grief: historical violence, environmental destruction, generational trauma, and everyday acts of neglect.

There will be overwhelm. Because how will we cope with such a big influx of reality, not being able to hide behind “this is not me” anymore, and all of the sudden having to process the state of the world as if we are part of it.

It will be a bit of a crash landing. There will be damages. There will be destruction. And parts will survive.

This grief would not be purely destructive. It would also function as a reckoning. In my experience, grief is usually a catalyst for transformation and acceptance of how things are. Grieving together would acknowledge what has been normalised, tolerated, or ignored. It would force a reorientation, a shedding of the skins over our eyes that distorted reality into a world of separation, of lovelessness.

Because that is what separation shows up as. As lovelessness. As the illusion that we are separate from love, from each other, from god/the universe.

It would invite more honesty and love into our everyday existence.
(And honesty and love are known to hold a mirror in front of our faces.)

It’s wonderful being here with you.

Much love,
Swan

it’s only me today. I hope that doesn’t come with disappointment for you, I know Devansh is great, but we haven’t found time to record another episode of the podcast yet. I’m endeavouring to make it happen for next week. We have so much to tell you!

If you haven’t listened to the first episode yet, I’m putting it below for you to check out! You can also find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Overcast.

On another note; if you already miss my voice so much, you can tune into radio88.se tonight at 9pm CEST and listen to me (and perhaps also Devansh, it’s undecided still!) have a conversation with Maria Olofsson, on the radio show Eternal Flame.

What I want to talk about today is what it means to make a choice, how that is different to making a decision, and why choice is the ultimate expression of freedom for me.

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One of my friends is going to have a baby soon. It’s the first time I get to have a second seat experience of this process. Until now, I’ve mostly visited new parents to show off their creation—after the fact. But there is something different in being there from the start. To have someone tell you that they will have a baby, to see their body changing, to hear that person share their experience at each stage of the journey.

Experiencing her on her journey, creating a life, I see a human trying to figure things out on the go. Because, of course (!), how would one know about something they haven’t done before? It’s obvious, I know, but I think society expects us to be perfect parents right from the start with zero experience. There are these big expectations of parents knowing everything, to not make mistakes, to rise to the responsibility and not mess it up. Even though life is inherently messy (!!). Why shouldn’t this be too?

Why do mistakes by parents …

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I have this theory that what we say to other people, especially when it comes to judgements and complaints, is actually us talking to ourselves. When I say to another person “You are not listening” what is actually needed is that I listen to myself. When I say “You are being mean” it’s me being mean to myself because I stay in the situation.

I hold this perspective because every time when I stop to listen and relate to the words that come out of my mouth as if I was listening to me talking to myself, any turbulence, chaos, resistance, pain, or suffering I am in ceases. What I am trying to solve outside of me, actually needs to be solved in relationship to me. By adjusting my actions, my beliefs about myself.

Within that, relating to other people lets me hear myself. They become my mirror. Some people are clearer mirrors, others are more foggy. And again, that just tells me a whole more about myself, because it’s just bringing out different sides of me.

Fa…

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I feel the need to introduce myself as there is a lot of new people with us in this space today. It’s me, hi—I’m Swan, the voice, founder, and person behind Colours of Being. A colourful welcome to all! It’s so lovely to be talking to so many new people, as that is what this space is all about—to have conversations, be inspired to think, and get to know oneself and one another. We do discovery.

With these letters you can expect a rhythm of reflection, rebellion, and realness (and lot’s of alliterations because they are cool) inviting you into a world that is messy, colourful and ultimately magnificent because It’s all okay. It really is—all the colours of being are human.

I write poetry—I’ve actually published my debut collection last December—it’s called Life of a Rainbow and you can find it on Amazon. I have a background in psychology, and work as a facilitator/coach (check out my website). And I love to discuss the universe and philosophise about my role…

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Prepare yourself for a strong start into this letter…

I believe, that this whole story about humans being reasonable is absolute chicken-sh*t. If you take a closer look, you can see that nothing is reasonable and almost anything we do is a reaction to something else. We live in systems, we are processes—of course we don’t act in isolation, we influence each other, we are interacting.

Yet, humans pride themselves on being the peak of reason, deluding themselves to be in full control over their actions, as if nothing else has any impact on them.

This is a longer essay, so grab your cup of tea, a comfortable seat and let’s converse. I’d love to hear your comments at the end.

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Yet, I’m observing that oftentimes that doesn’t happen anymore, we have become a society that says “I don’t want to see you sad.” over reaching out and being there with the other person.

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